HBVR managed to avoid embarrassment on Saturday by beating lower league Eastry Ravens and progressing to the semi finals of the Thanet Veterans League Cup but as with all Ressies matches, it was not plain sailing.

Ahead of the match there was a collection of red flags that identified this match being riskier than it appeared on paper:

- Grass pitch, which has proved a nemesis for the Ressies this season
- Long grass, very uneven surface
- Hottest day of the year
- The morning after a bank holiday
- Lower league opposition with nothing to lose
- Manager being called up to play for the first team
- No recognised keeper
- Only two Craigs

Despite this list of dangers, the Ressies were in buoyant mood ahead of the match with a strong squad of 13 available, the pre-match banter was up there with the best there's been this season, most of which can never be put in writing for legal reasons. At times the changing rooms resembled the mid-late 1970's Fulham changing room full of ballers, playboys, alcoholics and Smudge ... the only minor concern was Stu Munday who still appeared to be enjoying his previous night out and had volunteered to play in goal but during the warm up these concerns disappeared as Munday caught, parried, punched and kicked away everything that went near his goal.

Starting with a 4-2-1-1-2 formation, the Ressies were on the front foot from the start, winning a free kick in the opening minutes on the edge of the Eastry box. Kev Edwards demanded the ball stating he was "first team quality" and proceeded to back up this claim by curling the ball into the top left corner of the goal, a sweet strike. Everything looked to be going well with the Ressies playing on the front foot but unfortunately stand-in keeper Munday went full Loris Karius and in no time Eastry had scored three goals. Changes were required with Magic Miki replacing Felly up top and Carvy coming on in place of Simon Bates (or "Boycie" as Smudge called him all match and in the pub afterwards before being corrected) at right back and with a tweak in tactics which essentially was "get it over the top for Sharpie". Just before half time the changes paid dividends with Sharpie latching onto one of these balls and drilling the ball past the keeper to get the Ressies back into the match.

At half time stand in management duo of Smudge & Felly discussed with the team where they felt improvements were required and a plan was formed, unfortunately mental arithmetic let down the newbie managers as the plan had twelve players on the pitch but after some more head scratching and use of a phone calculator a new plan with eleven players was decided on with rock legend Foadie taking over keeping duties and the now sober'ish Munday stepping into centre mid Again the Ressies were on the front foot from the start and were awarded a penalty when Craig Gilpin was tripped after knocking the ball round the Eastry keeper. Carvy, now playing right wing, picked up the ball stating his beard is "first team quality", and slotted the ball confidently down the middle to draw the teams level.

From this point onwards it was one way traffic with the Ressies showing their class. Magic Miki playing deeper in the second half pulling the strings got a well deserved goal after latching onto a rebound from a shot by a Craig, Munday then somehow managed to convince Kev he should be allowed to take a free kick and hit a bendy, dippy, loopy shot right into the corner of the goal, the only downside is he probably wouldn't remember it the next day. The scoring was complete with double Craig action as Craig G hit a peach of a cross on the run to Craig S who rose like a salmon to bullet header the ball past the keeper.

Up to this point Leigh Gilpin had been having an unusually quiet match (it later turned out he'd also had quite a few Mojitos the day before) but suddenly burst into life. Picking up the ball on the half way line he proceeded to beat three opposition players with a bamboozling mixture of step-overs, nutmegs, lollipops and rainbow flicks, it was magic, pure theatre as he lined up the shot from 25 yards, surely it was heading top bins .... it headed for the side of the pitch for a throw-in, his team mates booed him, his younger brother later filed for family divorce.

Banana skin avoided but could have easily gone horribly wrong!

Starting Formation
Munday

Bates Foad Betts Edwards

Smudge Powell

L.Gilpin

Fell

C.Gilpin Sharp

From The Bench: Miki, Carvy

MOM: Craig Gilpin, pure class.